Short month; short blog. If you were looking for some light travel stories to lift up the end of winter and offer some escapism from it, I’m sorry to tell you that you’re going to be sadly disappointed. We did no travel, we have no light-hearted escapades and we did what many other people did this time of year. We caught colds, and hunkered down in our pajamas on the couch with mugs of chicken broth.

G caught his on a Monday and being the dutiful partner, I made a vat of chicken soup while plying him with tons of liquids, I sanitized every contact point in the W/C, shower room and kitchen. Got to calling myself Nurse Ratchet with a hatchet – determined not to catch this – yet, I woke up with it on Wednesday morning. It hit so hard and fast, I could barely lift my head off the pillow and by Friday I could barely walk. G had gone to see our good friend and pharmacist who recommended a couple of items but told him to get me to the doctor.

So G, who had recovered quickly, much to my envy and underlying wish to kill him for it – scooped me into an Uber to get to the doctor. No pneumonia, which was amazing to me because I’ve had that many times and seriously this was the sickest I’d ever been in my life. I kid you not – I laid there Friday morning calmly wondering if I’d still be breathing the next day. A hard-hitting virus – the type that did Jim Henson in. I was given antibiotics and told if I didn’t improve during the weekend to get my saggy behind into the hospital. Spoiler alert – I survived, all thanks to G and the miracle of medicine. But it took three weeks before I could keep food down and walk a straight line into the bathroom. Valentine’s day was lost in the shuffle.

So much for light escapades and fun stories. G kept leaning out the balcony to take pictures because he knew we’d have nothing to talk about. Unsurprisingly, we had lots of weather changes during the month – snow, rain and warm, sunny days – as well as a rally and protest. France had an unprecedented streak of 40 consecutive days of rain, with flooding in some areas, that officially came to an end on February 22, as reported by the national meteorological service, Météo-France. This recent record eclipsed the previous one of 32 days of uninterrupted rain set in 2023. The deluge, which lasted from January 14 to February 22, represents the longest recorded rainfall duration since the commencement of measurements in 1959.

G also broke out a jigsaw puzzle he got for Christmas. He’d decided it was something he wanted to try, so I had given him two. As if this month’s story wasn’t boring enough – he’s including pictures of that too. Shoot me now.

Oh wait – gets even better…. our plumber came by to replace the W/C sink faucet which has leaked since we moved in, so G threw in pictures of that. Feel free to flee the scene – I would.

I do have one story that is unusual for us. Our frustrations with not picking up the language after all our time here, is usually a self flaglation exercise and we internalize it. It rarely plays out in public or in our interactions with a variety of people we come in contact with. Generally the French are very forgiving and patient (which we are so grateful for), unlike the US which has no tolerance for poor English language skills. So, I had a doctor appointment with a specialist on the last Thursday of the month and never have I had a conversation go so ballistic in the first two sentences.

As always, I started out by apologizing that my French language skills were quite poor. She replied that she didn’t speak English. I apologized again, explaining that I had checked the website to verify she did speak English – trying to explain that I checked ahead because I didn’t mean to waste her time with my poor language skills. What she interpreted was that I was chastising her for not speaking English and became instantly infuriated. Then pointed out, after looking at my information, that I’d been here 7 years and hadn’t managed to pick up the language of this country. All very on point and true but her fury took me completely by surprise. Additionally, the appointment made by my GP had been incorrect to the situation and was requiring her to make adjustments to the system (or something to that effect in my bad attempt to understand this out-of-control conversation in French).

In this 30-minute exchange I spent 20 of it calming down the situation with her and humbling myself out of being tossed out of her office. I have been told I can be quite charming and let me tell you that I was pulling out every card I had in that regard. By the time the appointment was over, I had her laughing at our exchange, armed with two tests to schedule and a follow-up appointment. The specialist? She’s a neurologist and it was regarding my poor memory and the recent loss of some motor skills. If I’d managed to get that across in our first exchanges, I might have gotten the leeway I earned at the end. The situation was clarified, she was molified, understanding that I’d meant no disrespect regarding her poor English skills and I’m back on track to get some basic tests accomplished.

But the stress alone made me return home, where I lost my stomach contents and retreated to bed for the afternoon. Yeah, still not quite over the virus but for those of you who don’t know me well, it’s my super power. I have a very short gag reflex and can throw up on command. I’m an absolute pro. In the past, if our cats or dogs threw up, I’d be right next to them doing the same. I consider it a super power because of the instant effect it has. Some people may not flinch when threatened with, fists, a knife or gunfire but EVERYONE flinches at the threat of vomit. Everyone. They will stop their car, run in the opposite direction and clear your path faster than the parting of the Red Seas. So that ended my excursion for the day and basically for the month.

But the jigsaw puzzle is coming along nicely.